


Heart of a Girl

by TrixieBastard



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-02-07 00:18:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1877916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrixieBastard/pseuds/TrixieBastard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One-shot written using as many song titles from The Killers discography as possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart of a Girl

**Author's Note:**

> This is my stab at teastaindiary's awesome [song title prompt](http://teastaindiary.tumblr.com/post/89893644203/fic-game-idea) on tumblr. I used the works of The Killers as inspiration. Song titles are bolded.

Finn watched as Rae descended the stairs from her room, the new biker-style  **boots** she had bought for the occasion coming into view first. His brows lifted in appreciation before his eyes traveled up her black-clad legs to the hem of her dark purple skirt. Purple was a color she didn’t wear often, which was too bad – it looked amazing on her. A smile broke out as his gaze continued upward and took in which shirt she had picked. Rae was unpredictable in so many ways, save one -- no matter whose show they were going to or what kind of music it was, she always chose her Oasis tee to wear to concerts.

 

Rae grinned a hello to her boyfriend and was promptly snagged by the sleeve of her jacket, Finn drawing her into an embrace. “You’ll be the death of me, Rae,” he muttered into her hair as he held her close. She felt a  **rising tide**  of desire as he wrapped his arms around her, but kept it at bay – it was nearly seven o’clock, and if they went upstairs, they’d be late. They both hated missing even a minute of a show, so Rae hugged Finn closer before mumbling into his shoulder.

“We gotta go, Finn, or we’re gonna miss the opening act.” She felt his reluctance as he let her go, and she almost wanted to say ‘the hell with it,’ but she knew how carefully he’d planned out this evening for her. Besides, there’d be plenty of time afterwards. She saw the shadow of frustration lurking in his eyes and gave him an amused look, which he met with a lopsided smile.

 

“You ready for some  **glamorous indie rock and roll** , girl? This  **midnight show**  they do is supposed to be good,” Finn said, hoping that what he’d heard about this band had been right. He and Rae had been to a fair number of concerts over the course of their three years together, but today was her birthday and he wanted the show to be top notch.

 

“Yeah, just let me tell my mum that we’re leaving,” Rae answered quietly, ducking into the kitchen to do so. Finn walked over and leaned against the archway, giving Linda a smile as she and her daughter discussed what time they’d be back. It didn’t seem to matter that Rae was an adult – Linda still tried to keep her to a rudimentary curfew and had a tendency to interrogate her on where she was going to be for the evening. Finn knew nothing would happen if Rae was home later than expected, but Linda would never stop worrying about her eldest daughter and still had a tendency to wait up for her.

 

After what seemed like ages, Rae had finally managed to placate her mother. She and Finn made a mad dash for the car, wanting to get out of there before Linda had a chance to chase them down with further questions or demands. They were on the road and headed towards Leeds in short order, their excitement for the show palpable. To Rae, it felt like they were on a  **joy ride** , carefree and happy and utterly in love with each other, and she couldn’t be happier. Her thoughts were interrupted as Finn leaned over to pop open the glove box. He fished around until his fingertips located what he was looking for, and he sat back up with a satisfied smirk. He slid the cassette into the tape deck and grinned sideways at Rae as the opening chords of  **Spaceman** filled the air. “What?”

 

Rae shook her head at her boyfriend. It was like he didn’t know how adorable he was. “You and your poor taste in music,” she lamented, as she did every time Finn played the ‘concert mix’, as he called it these days. “I don’t know why I even agreed to go out with ya.”  _Except for the fact that you are perfect in every way._ She reached over and laid a hand on his knee, giving it a squeeze.

 

A chuckle escaped Finn’s lips as he shook his head sadly. “Must’ve been a lapse in judgment. Yet you’re still here, so I guess I must’ve done somethin’ right.” He enveloped her hand with his, rubbing his thumb along the back lightly.

 

“Mmm, or maybe I’m just willin’ to forgive the music because I’m keepin’ ya for your arse. And those arms.” Rae couldn’t stop herself from sending a lustful glance towards his shoulders, silently cursing the darkness of the winter night for keeping his form mostly hidden. At least there was a slight illumination from the dashboard gauges and controls – thank god for small favors.

 

Finn felt the tips of his ears go hot as he grinned into the darkness. Rae didn’t talk very often about their physical relationship, though he knew she was just as revved up about him as he was her. She’d let him read some of her old diary entries concerning him, and he’d been frankly shocked. Apparently she had difficulties vocalizing her baser desires to him (though not to the other girls, it seemed), because he’d had no idea about the things he’d seen on those pages. Up until that point, all he’d had to go on was the fact that she was a more than willing participant in bed.

 

“Oh, aye?” was all he could manage, his thoughts now occupied with some of the raunchier phrases she’d used in her diary. The line about gills was one of his particular favorites, and though that particular wish was impossible, he’d been doing breathing exercises to increase his lung capacity.

 

“Aye,” she answered cheekily, his influence on her vocabulary evident. “Though I suppose there are a few other reasons I could think of to keep you around,” she added, her tone softening.  _Like tonight. Like you planning out all of this for me. Like you being the sweetest person I’ve ever known._

Finn gave Rae’s hand a squeeze and felt the familiar swell of love for her rise in his chest. He’d been getting better at talking about his feelings, but there were times he still didn’t know how to put things into words. Instead, he clung on to her hand and hoped she could feel everything he wanted to say. He smiled as she began to sing along with  _Morning Glory_  – she still had a thing about singing in front of people, and he was beyond pleased that he was one of the select few she was comfortable singing around.

 

The rest of the ride was spent singing and taking this piss out of one another for various reasons, and Rae’s cheeks hurt from grinning by the time they got to the intimate venue. She looped her arm through Finn’s as they walked towards the area near the stage, taking in the small, dark room and somewhat cramped quarters. The fact that there were so many people there was a testament to the band’s popularity – it wasn’t common for local groups to sell out any kind of venue, even a smaller one like this.

 

It wasn’t until they had found a spot to stand that Rae began to really pay attention to the people around them. It felt like the crowd was more than half female, and it felt like they were all staring at Finn, then at her. She’d seen three of them raise their eyebrows as they looked on, and it was as if Rae could hear the questions going through their heads as clearly as if they were speaking aloud. It was college all over again. Rae had thought she’d gotten over her issues with being seen with Finn, but she realized that she’d only gotten over being seen in Stamford with Finn. They were a fixture in their small town now, and nobody questioned anything about their relationship, not even Stacey Stringfellow. Here in Leeds, though... Rae felt like a spectacle here.  _That’s six who’ve looked at Finn now. Six. Wait,_ ** _why do I keep counting?_** _I’m_ ** _losing touch_** _, I gotta get out of here._ Without a word, Rae unhooked her arm from Finn’s and stepped away in search of the sanctuary of the ladies’ room.

 

Finn’s eyes followed Rae’s figure as she slipped away into the crowd  **for reasons unknown** , her shoulders hunched over in a way he hadn’t seen for a while. He could feel in his  **bones**  that there was something wrong, and followed her to the ladies’. He slipped in after her and, once he had confirmed that nobody was using the facilities, flipped the lock on the door and turned to face Rae. Her expression was distressed, and he went in for a comforting hug. A frown flitted across his brow as he saw her  **move away** , not meeting his eyes. “ **Be still** ,” he whispered pleadingly, his tone full of concern for his girl. Hazel eyes flashed up to meet brown and she allowed him to envelop her in his arms. “What’s goin’ on, Rae?”

 

Rae felt herself beginning to break in the comfort of Finn’s embrace. She bowed her head and laid her cheek against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He rested his chin  **on top** of her head and began swaying back and forth slightly, rocking her. She felt tears beginning to prickle in her eyes and let out a shaky breath. “Can I  **change your mind**  about bein’ here right now?” she asked, voice wavering.

 

Finn stopped swaying and looked down at Rae, his gaze questioning. “Why d’ya want to go?”

 

Rae sighed. “I can’t be where all the girls with  **all the pretty faces** keep starin’ at you and then lookin’ at me like they don’t get it. It’s Simmy and Stacey and all that all over again, and I don’t know if I can deal with that for a whole night.”

 

Finn nodded stiffly, then turned Rae towards the mirror, both of them looking back at each other’s reflection. “Rae, all those birds out there are  **just another girl**  to me. They don't mean anything, because they're not you. I wish you could  **read my mind** , maybe you'd get it if you could see yourself the way I see ya. But that's not  **the world we live in** , so how can I  **show you how**  beautiful I think you are?”

 

Rae sniffled and wiped at her eyes, the bit of mascara she was wearing smearing along her lower lids. She gave a mirthless bark of laughter. "Well, you're  **here with me** , aren't ya? You're the fittest boy I've ever seen, but you're here with my blob of  **flesh and bone**  instead of with one of those other girls, so I guess you already are showin' me, aren’t ya? I think you’re daft for it, but you are showin’ me.”

 

Finn frowned at her choice of words. "No, Rae. I’m not daft for bein' with ya. You don’t deserve any of the stuff you tell yourself. You’re the most amazin’ person I’ve ever met, how could I not want to be here with ya?" He shook his head slightly, the frown still creasing his brow. "Look,  **from here on out** , I want ya to  **sweet talk**  yourself. Remember  **the way it was,** back  **when you were young**  and seein' Kester? How he told ya to soothe yourself? You stopped doin' that somewhere along the way, and I want ya to start again.”

 

Rae’s face crumpled briefly as she realized the truth of Finn's wordsand she ducked her head, taking a minute to compose herself before tilting her chin up and giving her reflection a steady look.  _Lor’, she’s so strong,_  Finn marveled, pride swelling in his chest. He grinned at her as she turned back towards him, eyes still wet but without the shadow of shame they had held a minute ago. She gave him a lopsided smile as she wiped the last of the tears from her eyes.

 

" **Somebody told me**  once that he was no good with speakin'. I think he lied to me."

 

Finn shrugged. “The  **heart of a girl**  is hard to win, innit? I thought if maybe I used our thing, you'd want to be with me. Plus, I wanted to hold ya because you in that dress was bloody amazin’." He glanced pointedly down at her chest and was awarded a playful smack in return. He laughed at the mock outrage on her face. "I'm only  **human** , you know. It would take a man much stronger than me to resist your breasts, Miss Earl.”

 

"Oi, you're a right proper Romeo," Rae said, wrinkling her nose at him.

 

"And you're the only girl for me. So, do  **Romeo**   **and Juliet**  fancy sticking around for the show?"

 

Rae considered his question for a minute, conflicting emotions chasing each other across her face. Eventually she nodded slowly. "Mmm-hmm. Just give me a minute, though, yeah?"

 

Finn placed a kiss on the tip of Rae’s nose. “’Course. I’ll wait for ya by the door,” he said before he flipped the lock on the door and opened it to a chorus of complaints. A small line of girls had formed outside, clearly impatient to use the loo. He apologized as he stationed himself nearby, standing on a spot that would be easily seen by Rae when she came back out.

 

Once Finn had exited, Rae turned her attention back to the mirror. She steadfastly ignored the stream of annoyed women who were casting her questioning glances and focused on her own reflection.  _You are strong, you’re perfect, and you’re as tough as a_ ** _prize fighter_** _. Now_ ** _smile like you mean it_** _and get out there to your boyfriend who loves you._ She knew it would be  **a matter of time**  before she started to fully believe her old mantra of strength again, but she did feel better. She certainly felt strong enough to enjoy her birthday with her adoring boyfriend. She found herself smiling at the mirror genuinely, and after taking a second to remove the smeared mascara, she went and found Finn.

 

"Everything okay, girl?" He grinned at her, and though he tried to hide it, she could see the concern lurking behind his eyes. She reached out for his hand, much to Finn’s delight. Once her hand was in his, Rae leaned over and pecked him on the cheek.

 

"Yeah, Finn.  **Everything will be alright**."

 


End file.
